One man reaching..

We took Kaidan and Cooper to Powers farm market today. While taking pictures there I was squatting and bending to get angles on photos and it was so much easier to do then when I tried just 3 months ago. I was also more steady with the camera and was able to carry Kaidan for a few and not get winded. I am loving this new life I am coming into. Again I am finding myself more open when in public and not sheltering myself from others and worried about their thoughts. I like the direction my life is headed in.

Whenever I eat I have always known when I needed to stop. It is a mental warning, it isn't a physical warning. So tonight at dinner I ate a little more past my mental warning to find out if I was physically full. I did this because I was worried I am under eating. Well I found out my mental stopping point is correct and it is where I need to stop from now on. The result: I didn't stuff myself but I ate enough to become uncomfortable; a feeling I never want to feel again. Now for dinner we had Chicken Pot Pie (Not frozen but homemade Pot Pie), one of my favorite meals ever. I did not enjoy it that much tonight. I do not know if it was my obsession with food that made it so appealing and tasty to me but now since I have started to change my diet and really focus on losing weight I do not have desire to eat like I did before. The appeal of food is not nearly as strong as it once was. Yes I have a craving here or there but not the desire to eat crap food or eat all I can find. Before I could have eaten crap at every meal or over eaten with no worries for the most part and now I look at regular portions and wonder when I will or if I will ever be able to eat that at one sitting or look at portions that restaurants serve and think to myself that there is no way I could ever eat all that food. Well I am done. Night.